'The Usual, Sir?' or Making an Impression

There are many different things in life that are important. At this point in time, for me, that would mainly be completing coursework and not failing exams. Which is a pain in various different body parts but there are those things that take the pressure off. Like conducting pointless social experiments. Now, one could say that such social experiments would not be entirely pointless but if one were to say such a thing, one would be at the very least sympathising with the sociologists, famous practitioners of pseudo-science the world over.

Anyway, my disputably pointless social experiment of late has been creating rapport with people. Not the instant kind of rapport that one would require for some real hardcore social engineering but the slow kind. The slightly more natural kind. It would be wholly natural except for the fact  that I am fabricating it. I'm not fabricating being a nice bloke or having an interest in people, those things generally tend to be true but usually I would just go to the coffee shop, order a coffee and be on my way. Nothing else is really necessary. But then, I heard people getting asked if they wanted 'the usual.' From the New Year, I decided that I wanted to get asked the same question.

Now the concept of 'the usual' is an interesting one to me. If it were not for the fact that I enjoy many different aspects of culinary delights and all of the textures and flavours that come with these, I might have a 'usual' way that I drink my coffee. That would be probably just be a hazelnut latte. But because I like to surprise myself, sometimes I get it with a shot of mint or amaretto, just because I can. And, what can I say, it certainly keeps things interesting. If, however, one wishes to have 'their usual,' one must become predictable. Predictable is not something that I do well. I don't like to be predictable because it keeps other people, as well as myself, constantly on their toes. This is particularly useful because then if people ever think of screwing you over, they won't know how you'll react so they will generally not screw you over for fear of the unknown.

So, yeah, the usual. As aforementioned, I decided that I would stick to a regular drink. A hazelnut latte, to be specific. From the New Year, I went to the same coffee shop at 9 AM on Tuesdays and Fridays. The only reason that I went only on those mornings is because they are the only mornings I had (and still have) free of anything. I also occasionally went on afternoons if I had nothing on then but they tended to be much rarer. The specific time was so that it might make me a little more memorable if I tried to anchor myself to a specific time in the day.

This was actually my favourite coffee shop of all the ones that I usually went to because they make amazing coffee. Seems a little obvious, I know, but the other places had more regular staff members so I decided that I was up for a bit of a challenge. I haven't seen a male barista yet, which is quite lucky from a charm perspective. It would, I suppose, be alright if there happened to be a male barista but he was gay. I mean, it's not my thing but if a little charm works, it would make me more memorable still.

So far, the facts are these:

1. I attended the same coffee shop
2. I arrived at the same time (9 AM)
3. I attended on the same days of every week
4. I ordered the same drink

Now, I don't have many distinguishing features. I am taller than roughly 94% of the people that I meet on a regular basis but I don't exactly have a Mohawk or piercings all over my face. I could have added one of these to make myself more recognisable but the one ground rule that I set myself before beginning this was that I would not sacrifice my dignity for it. There's not a whole bunch of it to start with so I didn't want to lose much during the experiment. This means that I had to use small tidbits of information that they gave to me to make them think 'Oh wow, this guy actually listens, maybe he's worth remembering...'

At this point, it's worth giving a short list of the baristas whom I saw on those days:

1. 'The Chick with Dreads' (as she calls herself, not a name I gave her)
2. The European Chick
3. The Bun Chick (hair, not baked goods)

Three baristas. Two days a week. 1.5 interactions with each every week. And I had to get them to remember me. I started out by just observing. Checking out the relationship between the baristas which seemed to be fairly good. They all seemed to be colleagues and friends, neither one of them being the owner of the place. Which was useful for me because I could then observe small details that they shared when they were talking amongst themselves. Like The Chick With Dreads (herein referred to as Dreads Chick) has a cat. (Quick side-note: lots of my techniques from here in come from <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Its-Not-All-About-ebook/dp/B0060YIBLK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1328262243&sr=8-1>this book</a> which you should all go and read now!) This gave me a third party reference to use and due to the fact that it was obvious I was going to have to leave the shop at some point, I already had an artificial time constraint.

Therefore, the next time she was looking my way, I made sure that I glanced at watch, adopted an alarmed facial expression and gulped down the last few mouthfuls of my coffee. Quickly gathering my belongings, I made for the door. But before I got there, I made sure that I turned to her and said 'I'm sorry to bother you, ahh, I'm about to be late for a meeting but I didn't want to forget this. I overheard you talking about your cat earlier and I'm looking to get a cat for my girlfriend as a third anniversary present and was wondering, is there a type I should get if I want a specific thing from them, like you would with dogs, or are they all relatively similar?' This worked like a charm because of a couple of things. I used the artificial time constraint (which made her think that I wasn't after a long conversation because I was late) as well as the fact that I had a long term girlfriend (so that she wouldn't think that I was coming on to her because I've been with this girl 3 years so I must be faithful) and the sympathy theme (which makes her want to help me because I know nothing about a subject and she can enlighten me). There was also an ego booster in there (because she knew more than me so she felt superior). All of this, as well a very slight expression of worry on my face indicated that I was genuinely after some advice on cats. I wasn't. I do not have a long term girlfriend, I wasn't late and I don't really have an interest in cats. But all of those things made it seem like I did, so she talked to me. For about 15 minutes, we discussed the merits of different types of cats and what my 'girlfriend' preferred in a pet. This was useful because now she knows a little about me (in theory) and she will remember the nice chat we had until I see her next week. She was the Tuesday morning barista so I attempted the same thing on Thursday but got no useable information from either barista. This meant waiting until the next Tuesday.

Come the next Tuesday and my techniques did have an effect. As soon I walked through the door, Dreads Chick turned and looked at me. For a moment, she didn't recognise me but I could see it on her face as soon as she did. She smiled at me and we exchanged pleasantries whilst she made my coffee. She had remembered me but not my order, just as I had expected. Oh well, one step at a time. So she inquired about the cat and I mentioned that I was looking at places to buy one from. She helpfully gave me a couple of good local places and I thanked her and left (after drinking my coffee, of course). The next week, I went back. Same thing happened, exchange of pleasantries, etc but this time, she asked 'You having a large hazelnut latte again?' And I smiled. She remembered. I said yes but to go because I was in a bit of a hurry at the time and I left. The next week it was, 'You having your usual?' Bang. Success. So now, this is my Tuesday coffee shop. I am working my way up with the others but not as persistently because I know that can do it quickly if I need to.

Four weeks. From start to finish of my experiment. She remembered my drink after three but it took four for her to know that it was my regular. If you want some helpful tips on creating rapport like this, read the book in the link above. It is an extremely useful aide.

Now, go forth and have 'the usual!'